Hello, My Name Is Elvis Henry Griffin

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Hello, My name is Elvis,
I’m 10 years old,
I’m in fourth grade at
(insert blank) elementary school.
I’m not allowed to share my
Real Info on the internet…
You are currently reading my
BLOG DIARY! Since you don’t know me yet,
i’ll explain my life to you.

My parents style
of CRUEL
AND UNUSUAL
torture punishment
was to name
ME
at birth:
ELVIS Henry Griffin
(They couldn’t help the Griffin part)
I’m sure the process
Was like this:
“His last name is a
BIG
mythical
lion-bird.
Do you know what goes well
with a big
mythical
lion-bird?
Elvis and Henry…”

Why not…
It’s not like my future
MATTERED!
What MATTERS is
that my parents got a GOOD LAUGH.
T
his all happened
when I was a baby.

How is a baby
supposed to save himself,
from FUTURE humiliation..

Parents:
“We will name him Elvis,
We love Elvis!”
Baby me:
“Heck no, pick something else,
or I’ll find new parents.”
Parents:
“Our baby talks,
we are going to be rich!”

Parents rule the world,
and baby’s have no rights.

Helloo!!! The joke is still going parents…
Why couldn’t you have named me
Iron man, Zeus, Thor, Tom…
ANYTHING! Other than,
ELVIS
HENRY
STINKIN GRIFFIN.

I know you want to ask.
Don’t worry,
Everyone does.
No I don’t shake my legs
Or sing,
“You ain’t nuthing but a hound dog”
Like Elvis,
Its my parents fault
They are OBSESSED with–
You guessed it–
Elvis.

Elvis is on our walls,
On our floor;
we even have an Elvis
salt and pepper shaker.
I will NEVER
Invite my friends to my house.

See, When you start your
LIFE
as a joke,
it never stops.
The laughs continue on for
INFINITY!
I should just sharpie
the name on my forehead
for all the world
to KNOW
that I am: 
ELVIS
HENRY
GRIFFIN

This is MY diary,
This is MY story,
This is MY epic poem.

See ya tomorrow!

(This is a work of fiction. All of these blogs are written by me and reflect real life stories from my childhood and some from my children’s) 

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