Diary of: ELVIS HENRY GRIFFIN

BLOG POST 3: My dad the Mad Scientist!

Hello to all my fellow earthlings,

I know what your thinking
by now,
“Your not so special.”
Yeah, maybe you’re right…
Everyone
I mean
EVERYONE
Has their own family,
and their own
Set of family problems.

So what makes me so special
That I get my own
Super blog of awesomeness?

Because my problems
Are so much cooler
Than yours!

All I want is a normal life;
But beggars can’t be choosers
Right?
Which is an idiom.

Definition of an idiom:
something grown ups say
to brainwash you.
(not kidding, look it up)

Truth is:
WE ARE STUCK
with these people;
but,
I don’t think I would trade them in,
even if I could.

We are who we are
BECAUSE of our family
we wouldn’t even
EXIST 
without them!
I guess my life is

A blessing in disguise! (another idiom)
Remember, every cloud has a silver lining
(he’s doing it again)
(wait for it)
you can’t judge a book by its cover, (no he didn’t)
Elvis has left the building! [Mic Drop]

mic drop

(end of idioms)

This next part of my life,
you may find hard to BELIEVE
just remember,
I warned you how
WEIRD my family is!
It’s not my fault you don’t believe me.

My dad is a mad scientist.
I’m not talking lab coat,
Working in the lab,
Day and night
trying desperatly
to find the cure,
To end all diseases…

No
A real,
crazy,
Mad
SCIENTIST!
(insert mad man laughing)

giphy

I can’t tell you how many times
He’s blown something up
experimenting…
Madly…

I’ve seen him blow up a beaker
he filled with water
after splitting the hydrogen
from oxygen.
Then,
being the smart mad scientist
THAT HE IS
(kids don’t try this at home)
he decided to light a match
to test it.
BOOM!
Glass everywhere.

You would think after THAT,
he would have LEARNED his lesson.
NOPE!

So I am going to dedicate a portion
of MY BLOG
To how many times MY DAD
has blown up things.

1st: The rags incident:

He put chemical rags in a furnace,
let it sit for a few hours to dry, then
when he came back to open the furnace…
fire flew out of the furnace
and burned his eyebrows off.
After finding out he was safe,
It was hilarious.

2nd: The great fourth of July incident:

one year,
on the fourth of july,
we ran out of fireworks.
MY DAD, had a great idea;
an Idea that would go down in history

As:

THE GREAT FOURTH OF JULY
MUSHROOM CLOUD OF AWESOMENESS!

atomic

I will tell you how he did it.
He took a jar of gunpowder he had
laying around his garage for years.

(he used to make special effects for plays)
Put it in the middle of the driveway.
Then lit the pile with a match.

What’s the next thing I see?
My dad flying back through the air,
and the biggest FLASH
I’ve ever seen in my life.

ezgif-1-429125837d.gif

We all looked up,
staring at the giant mushroom cloud
that was rising into the sky.

Maybe that wasn’t a mad scientist thing;
but it was MAD!

3rd: The exploding batteries:

My dad likes to experiment with batteries,
He would line them up in rows,
connecting them to each other.
Trying to power his crazy mad inventions.

One day,
I suppose he connected one too many.
BECAUSE,
you guessed it,
they exploded.

I was upstairs when this happened.
He came running up the stairs repeating
“IS MY FACE OK”
Over and over,
In shock.
He was fine,
I guess it wasn’t so funny at the time.
Now I look back,
And it seems kinda funny.
I bet he wouldn’t think so.
If YOU do don’t feel bad.

4th: THIS ISN’T AN EXPLOSION STORY

Hey,
it still deserves to be on the list.

My dad was in the kitchen
messing with some sort of electrical device.
I don’t know know what it was,
All I know is,
that it was plugged into the wall.

Being the good son that I am.
I put my hand on his shoulder and said:
“Hi Dad, whatcha doing?”
Instantly, I realized something was wrong.
I was being shocked,
and I couldn’t let go.
(there was also a time when I put my finger
in a light socket, but that’s a different story)

Somehow,
He let go, and the shock stopped.
I never touched his shoulders again.

So there you have it,
some of the crazy stories
about my dad…

I always hear buzzing sounds,
loud popping noises,
I cant even watch TV!
Because when he’s experimenting;
there’s a bunch of dancing lines,
on ALL of the screens in the house.

Something tells me
That’s not good for you.
Maybe one day
I’ll grow a third arm or
have super powers

giphy

Or something…

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